Thank You

I'm terrible at thanking people for sentimental gestures. I am awful at expressing my feelings when it comes to vulnerability, if I'm angry or happy, you'll know it no problem. But if I'm touched by a persons actions, I have a hard time putting that into words. I don't know why but I think I've always been like that. 

That's why this particular blog was important for me to write. The donations that have been made to our Baby Saint Fund, whether it has been friends hosting online parties and donating a portion of the sales, friends and family members sending us donations in the mail or everyone who has donated on our GoFundMe page that our close friend so kindly created, all of these donations have been received with love and appreciation and we are truly humbled. The fact that people have taken it upon themselves to be involved in our journey and do everything in their power to help us reach our goal, there are not enough words to thank you all and to thank you properly. 

Hopefully you feel our gratitude though us sharing our journey. Letting you know what we're going through and how we're feeling. Even though it's not always going to be easy, it's not always going to be pretty, I promise to always share honestly.

With that in mind, we are hopefully setting things in motion to begin our IVF process, more than just talking and planning. We have an appointment with our doctor to sign consents and we have a LONG list of questions for her.  Every time we go to the doctor, all of our questions go out of our heads, so we're making a list! We're doing some bloodwork and other analysis tests. We attended an IVF overview class that I'll tell you all about in a separate blog. Other than that, I'm not sure how things will progress, but as soon as I find out, so will you!

The financial responsibilities that come along with IVF belong to no one but my husband and I. That being said, to all of you who have donated and supported us, and who continue to support us, please know that when we finally (finally!) become a family of three, Baby Saint will know that before they even existed, they were loved and they were cherished. 

Thank you, as always, for following along our journey. ❤️

Never Lose Sight of Your Victory

Do you have a hero? 

We all have a hero, don't we? Whether it's a fictional character like Superman or Batman. Or if it's a historical figure like Dr. King or Mother Teresa. Someone that we idolize from a distance and connect with on a level we don't understand sometimes. Someone whose memory and story drives us to persevere. 

I was lucky enough to know my hero. To not only watch him grow up but to grow up with him. To see him turn from a short, outspoken middle schooler to a kind, responsible, loving, strong (and very tall) man, husband and father. 

My hero fought a battle that many would have quickly lost. One which many would have allowed to swallow them up into despair. But my hero never faltered. His strength, his faith in God and himself, never faltered. 

I'm blessed to be able to call my hero my friend as well. Not a best friend, but a constant and true friend. 

One year ago today, my hero became my angel. Whenever I want to feel sorry for myself, whenever I want to give up on myself, I remember him. I remember how he never felt sorry for himself. His bravery. His capacity to love and forgive. I regret not sharing my story sooner because I truly would love to hear what his thoughts are on our journey. But he is with me, I carry him with my every day. He has inspired me to be a better and stronger person. I am forever indebted to him for that. 

I miss you Colb, I promise to never lose sight of my victory.  💙💛💙