What's Next?

Well it's been a while since my first blog! It took some time for me to gain the courage to share it with the world, in particular the beautiful people in my personal world, but you guys did not disappoint! Thank you for all your love and support.

So what's next? From what I can understand a lot of doctors appointments, a lot of financial planning and A LOT of emotions, and that's just for staters. We've started with the doctors appointments, the team at Baystates Infertility Clinic has come highly recommended by both friends and doctors and we will hopefully be getting to know them very well. 

To let you know a little bit about our story, my husband and I are capable of having a child who is 100% biologically ours, but I am not capable of carrying that child. We count our blessings that if and when we are ready to find a gestational carrier, that baby will be completely genetically ours. A gestational carrier differs from a traditional surrogate in that she has no genetic relation to the baby, she will be carrying a child who is a little bit of me and a little bit of my husband. What a beautiful possibility, isn't it?

It's an ongoing struggle as a woman to find peace with the fact that you will never bear your own child. I've spent the better part of my life being sad and bitter about it. But now, with the help of my husband and family, and all of you reading this blog, I move towards accepting that fact and focusing instead on getting what we want, which is a family, so I guess that's what's next!

Baby Steps

When I got married four years ago, my husband and I knew we wanted to have a family, that we wanted to be parents. We also knew that it wouldn't be simple and that it wouldn't be easy. There wouldn't be any surprise pregnancies, there wouldn't be any pregnancies. I found out when I was in high school that I would never know the blessing of being pregnant but that never stopped me from dreaming about being a mother. And now that I'm older, as I watch my friends and loved ones expand their families, my heart aches for that same joy. This is something that I rarely, if ever, discuss with anyone so it's surprising, even to me, that I have started a blog to document this adventure of ours. But it's something that is a part of life, something that a lot of women and their husbands can relate to. And it's something that I shouldn't continue to keep hidden away like dirty laundry. My husband and I recently decided to take the first steps (BabySteps you could say 😊) towards growing our family and I'm so excited to share what's to come with all of you. My pain, my joy, my questions and (hopefully!) some answers.